How to get over from break up? This is really a tough question to answer. First of all, I would like to make a statement here that breakups are tough and there is no way to sugar-coat it. Breakups have always been and would remain a tough phase of life. First of all, people fall in love and enjoy the togetherness with their lover, it is a very pleasant and memorable phase of life. As every story does not have a happy ending and those turn into breakups are the worst. Breakup makes your life hell and you are in a silent pain but the good news is how long you want to remain in that pain is entirely depends upon you. How to deal with the breakup? Or How to deal with the breakup? or rather how long does it take to get over a breakup. Please read the top 10 ways to get over from the breakup.
1.# Cut off completely- This is the number one step you need to take in order to handle the breakup. Many couple decide to stay in touch as a friend in the future after the breakup but this is really a blunder mistake to make. You need to completely cut off from your ex. Even if you decided to call once in a week or once in a month, it would not let you heal your broken heart. No matter how hard it seems initially just completely cut off. Avoid sending messages and making phone calls even if you feel worse at times. There will be a lot of times when you miss them a lot but remind yourself not to call. It will look tough for some time but later on, you will feel proud of yourself not making any contact with them.
2.# Introspect- I always advocate the idea of taking your relationship to the ultimate level, I mean to say if you love someone just do everything to marry that person. Since you have parted ways I believe there must be a strong reason for this turmoil. Now since you are aware that your relationship ended, either they dumped you or due to some other circumstances. It’s the time now to come out of this. Just introspect as to why it was necessary for both of you to part ways. Once you remind yourself and convince your inner self your subconscious mind would start to understand it and the intensity of thoughts and emotions would gradually fade away.
2.#Stop following- One of the worst things people do after the breakup is they secretly chase their ex. They check their last online on Whatsapp and regularly check their Facebook updates to get updated about their life. Remember one thing breakup is equally tough for everyone, you never need to think that the other person is enjoying life while you earned all the sufferings. It does not work that way no matter how strong a person is both the partners initially suffer from the breakup. Remember the only way to heal the wound is to let it heal by itself and never scratch it. Looking into your ex’s life secretly is like scratching your wound again and again not allowing it to heal. Just never check their profile on any platform just take a pledge to yourself I will not look at their profile for 2 years no matter what. After two years if you check them it will not be killing you as it does now. You will be just treating them like any other person in your life. Do not secretly chase them on social media be it Facebook, Instagram or anything else for that matter. Just mind your own life. This is the best way to handle the breakup
4.# Understand it at a mental level-According to research you have exactly the same level of chemistry in your brain after the break up as to that of a drug withdrawal case. Once a drug addict begins to keep himself away from the drug he craves for more. When he does the drugs he feels exact pleasure in which you feel in love or making love. This research showed shocking results that the people who were suffering from breakups had exactly the same brain chemistry. Understand this science that even though it does not matter how long you have done drugs but if one decided to quit he can quit, similarly you will also be able to win this battle.
5.#Give Time- You must have heard a lot many times especially from old people that “time is a good healer”. In reality, it is exactly the same, truly time is a great healer. You cannot come out of this pitiful situation all of a sudden it will take time. Give time, just give them time it seems like any other sentence right now but trust me you are going to feel its depth and importance at a later stage in life when things will change for good. Just allow your brain to adjust, your brain your emotions, feelings will make harmony for themselves. Just give time.
6.# Write Down- it’s time to do some lifesaving calculations, write down everything on a piece of paper as to what was not working for you in this relationship, why you needed to end this relationship. Decide and write on the piece of paper today, I have cleared out all the dues of this relationship on this paper and now I am not going to discuss this in my mind. At times we do not want to share our experiences with anyone and keep on thinking about them in our minds. Certain times it becomes difficult to handle inner battle if you can’t speak better to write them down and clear some space from your brain. Once you write down everything on a piece of paper you will feel a bit more relaxed. Just try this.
7#.Remind yourself of your Duties- According to Bhagawat Geeta you should always follow the Dharma means you always need to perform your duty. If you are student then studying hard is your duty if you are a working professional then working honestly is your duty. Please remind yourself of your duties rather than just lying in bed the entire day and thinking about the past which can never be the reality again.
8#.Dump the Belongings – Do this just now! I repeat do this just now! When you are in a relationship sharing gifts is a very common phenomenon and fee equally good in receiving and giving them. But when the relationship is over these gifts cannot give anything but pain and sad memories. Just put them into a box where you do not get to see them every day. I am also saying even for the expensive ones you have like a diamond ring or something. I am not asking you to throw them out but just dump them somewhere until you come out of this “ I am so lonely” life.
9#.Take Care of Yourself- This is the biggest mistake most people do is that they stop taking care of themselves. They stop to look good and they feel it is of no use now to look good as now one is there to appreciate them. This is really bad thinking. Just keep on taking care of yourself, hit the gym or start doing Yoga, adopt Meditation. Adopt any of these activities and it will help you to come out of break up. Go to the beauty parlor or get yourself a relaxing massage. Never dull your life, just keep the spark and attitude alive.
10# Dream Big (Set a Big Goal)- During the course of love-relationship what most people do is forget about their career goals and they dedicate their entire life and time to the person they love. Relationships are necessary so does money, never compromise your goals with love. I am not undermining the value of relationships I am just keeping both as equally important. Temporary breakups and patch-ups are a very common thing in relationship which is really a big-time killer. Now you have a lot of time because that person is no more there in your life to fill out this gap taking up an assignment or a big goal will be a great idea to put and divert all of your attention on. Just dream big it could be anything, writing a book, making YouTube videos, writing blogs, getting promotions in your job, expanding your business or earning X amount of money. Just set a goal for yourself and put all your energies and efforts into it. Just start living this goal, feel how great you would feel after achieving it. Make this your biggest passion ever than anything else. Put your heart and soul into it, work hard.
At last, I want to say that you don’t deserve this pitiful life. Just come out of and start to live life. There is so much to be done in the world to make it a better place. If you can’t find your passion, just think about bringing happiness to underprivileged people. Look at the kids working as daily labor while they should be playing with the toys, look at the people who do not have food to eat even though it is a basic necessity. If you can make a difference in their life that will be great and you will find a reason to be happy. Sharing and giving is real happiness.
(Deepak Thakur English Motivational Speaker)
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